Jumper: Griffin's Story

Jumper was a film that looked great on paper and just failed to deliver anything worth while. The idea may have crossed over into the video game format nicely if it hadn't been for what I now consider to be the worst developer around, the team behind Looney Tunes: Acme Arsenel... Yes, they too are behind this monstrosity.

Think of it, a person who can jump anywhere they can think of. Just think of Japan and you could just hop right there in the blink of an eye. Well, this is a prequel to the movie so it had a slim chance of being good but frankly the plot is ass and involves a lad, his dead parents and an organization. yeah, we've all heard this one before.

Not only does the game insult us with it's story but it has some of the worst load times this generation. It takes a good two minutes for each level to load.

Maybe this would be acceptable if the game wasn't the fugliest thing this side of a transvestite shemale hooker. The textures are poor, everything is rooms with repeated items and small corridors. No thought went into the locations.

What makes the graphics even worse are the character models. There are three or so enemy types but they all look the same but have different annoying voices. What's worse than that is your guy kind of looks like them all as they seem to have the same outfit on and if you're not staring at the screen it's easy to not be able to tell which character is the oen you're controlling.

Again, this wouldn't be a problem but the game play itself relies on you knowing who you are. This is an action game through and through but it reminds me of a beat'em up but not nearly as entertaining as The Warriors of even Streets of Rage.

See, because you jump all over you can attack from all sides in the air so you kind of just hop around as each face button represents a direction. This is a flaw in itself as the camera shifts, which also shifts the true nature of where the shields might be up.

I'm getting a head of myself though. See, each enemy has a color around them. Green means it's their open spot and red means they will block you if you try and attack from that direction so it's like a match game. So you can see how the camera may cause some problems. Not only that but the camera often gets stuck on random items in the environment and that is always when an enemy is behind a pillar so you can't see their colors. There was also a room with red lasers that flash which again made it hard to figure anything out.

The game consists of five whole levels and should take the average gamer about 2 hours to beat and you should net at least 700 of the 1000 achievement points in that time frame. Seriously, no thought went into this title.

The boss fights are also a problem in the game. Between being too long or too cheap they are just kind of boring and put up less of a challenge than a room full of normal enemies. Thankfully the final boss has only one open spot and he sends random enemies who shoot nets to annoy you even more. Gee, thanks!

I don't know what else to say about this game. There is no real point to it. It's ugly as all hell. Sure Jamie Bell provides his voice to his character from the movie but his three lame one liners may force you to mute the game. This game has not one single redeeming value to it and it is by far the worst game I've played since the original The Mummy on the Playstation.

Story - 3/10
Graphics - 1/10
Sound - 2/10
Control - 6/10
Game Play - 1/10
Replay Value - 0/10

Final Score - 1/10