Zoids Assault

I won’t lie to you. I’ve only seen half an episode of this anime. I’m not a mecha fan but I am a srpg fan and this looked like a quick 1000 achievement points.

Boy was I wrong though and I really wish I hadn’t even bothered. Granted I didn’t read reviews and a friend told me the game was glitched but he’s usually wrong so I ignore his comments.

Well, it isn’t glitched but the game is heavily flawed. The biggest problem is that there is no real rhythm or reason behind what happens in the game. I don’t mean the story either, I kind of ignored that, but the game play feels so disjointed that half the time I had no idea what was going on.

The game is made up of 14 missions I believe, might be a few less but I know there isn’t more. From the little I did play each mission is destroy all enemies and when almost done some more will pop up to be killed. Imagine the fun of that over and over for 14 stages…

Unlike a normal srpg you don’t gain levels during the missions, only after does the experience count and cause you to level up. This makes things harder than need be and trust me, the game is pretty hard,

The biggest flaw is that there are so many mechanics at work it’s hard to just jump into the game and without a proper tutorial I felt lost from the first mission and really, it’s sad when you almost lose the first mission in a srpg and you’ve played many before.

See, I can’t even put into words the problems I ran into. I could attack an enemy and do 0 damage while he would counter attack and does 878 damage or I’d do 200 damage and he would counter attack with 700 damage. It felt entirely random.

Not only that but there is no rhyme or reason behind where you can attack. In true srpg fashion you can move around the grind only so many spots and your attacks only effect specific areas. One would think that it would always be five in front of you if that’s what it is but with long range weapons it’s totally random where your attack areas will be so you end up wasting time hoping from spot to spot to see if you can actually hurt someone.

You also can’t align your Zoid in the direction you want it to but that’s okay because it has no baring with if you counter or not, that seems to be a random trait as well. Facing an enemy whose one space in front of you, you most likely can’t counter attack but hey, the one attack from five spaces, yeah you can counter attack that one. And don’t worth they almost always counter attack you.

As you progress you gain new equipment and skills but you learn quickly that the emp skill will save you every time, once you learn how to use it but again the game gives almost no direction for that task.

The game does offer some decent, if not a bit grainy, anime cut scenes. It’s all dubbed over though so don’t go in expecting Japanese dialog. The game has so-so music, it may or may not be lifted from the anime but as I said before, I have very little experience with it.

The game is one fugly mother though. The textures are non-existent, the landscape is barren or has some nasty PS1 trees. All Zoids look the same no matter what you do to them and the menu system couldn’t be more generic.

I remember playing a bargain bin srpg for the PS1 called “Eternal Eyes”. Yeah, it’s better than this game. It’s really sad that not only did Atlus port this poor title over but they had the nerve to charge the full $60 retail price for it.

If you’re willing to stick with it, repeat missions to spam levels then you may get the 100 points, 650 are for just beating the game. If I see you with the points I’ll congratulate you because they are well deserved for the suffering this game imposes upon the player.

I don’t recommend this game in any shape or form. Don’t rent, don’t buy and don’t even borrow. Fans may get a little enjoyment from it but I doubt it. As a rpg collection I doubt I’ll be adding this to my collection because then it means I’d have to actually beat it.

Story – 6/10
Graphics – 2/10
Sound – 5/10
Control – 6/10
Game Play – 3/10
Replay Value – 4/10

Final Score – 3/10